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My Story - Theta One(Modified on David's request, 12th July 2001) I first became involved with the subject of Scientology and the Church of Scientology (two entirely different things) in 1985, and left the church in 1999. During that time, I learned and experienced a great many things, and have as a result, benefitted greatly. Not all of the experiences were good however, which is why I am now outside of the "church". I have found the original technology of the mind and spirit as developed and codified by LRH in the 1950's, '60's and '70's, to be highly valuable and workable when CORRECTLY and without alteration, applied and used; and I have gained much knowledge and many abilities as a result of thereof. I therefore, am in agreement with the SUBJECT of Scientology, and the PROPER use of this technology for improving conditions and life. I have found that the "church" as controlled and directed by the current Int Management has become a monstrosity of covert suppression, hidden crimes, and robotic behavior on the part of some staff, to the detriment of many. The abuses and crimes of the current "church" have been widely exposed and documented by many brave souls before I found this information on the internet, and began researching and verifying it to my own satisfaction. That being said, I would also like to acknowledge that there are MANY good, well-intentioned people within the church, that have NO IDEA of the actual condition and purpose of the organization to which they now belong and lend their support. I and many others you see here, were at one time, a part of that organization because we had not yet discovered or confronted the truth. With this statement, let it hereby be known that I am NOT publicly departing Scientology (the subject), but I AM publicly departing the "church" which itself has, for reasons which we are discussing here, become a suppressive organization guilty of a great many crimes and abuses. Not the least of which is the alteration and destruction of the technologies of Scientology. For some reading here, this may sound like a generality. In the following weeks, I will be posting SOME of the alterations of the tech that I and many others have found in the materials, so that all current Scientologists can VERIFY with their own eyes, that what I say is true and correct. Let all public and staff reading here, whether lurking or on-assignment or mission, be on notice that you owe it to yourself, to Scientology and LRH, and the rest of your dynamics, to confront the information I will be posting, and honestly look for yourself. It will be easy enough to compare older versions with newer versions, and see the changes yourself. Confront the truth and take responsibility for the ACTUAL condition of the church. That is why I am now here and speaking out. MY STORYMy name is David Griffin, and I grew up in LA. I was on-lines at Pasadena, CC, LA Day, and ASHO. In 1986, I worked at Celebrity Center for SIPRO (Scientology International Properties Restoration Organization) as an Architectural Draftsman on the Manor restoration project. I was also in the Sea Org for a brief time at Bridge Publications in Promo and Marketing as a Designer. I held a lifetime membership in the IAS as a founding member, and later upgraded to Sponsor status. My professional background is Product Design, Engineering and Manufacturing. I am an artist and natural Clear. This is my story. In the summer of '85, I picked up a copy of Dianetics in a bookstore. After three days of intense reading, I put down the book (because I didn't have a PC to audit), and drove out to the Pasadena Org (the nearest one listed in the back of the book). I received one hour of book one auditing as an intro, but was disappointed because I didn't see any pictures or run any engrams. It was seven years before I discovered why that had happened (because I was already Clear). While I was in the org, I began looking around and asking a lot of questions about Scientology (I knew nothing about it at the time). I began reading some of the books and listening to various taped lectures. I became fascinated with all this new information, and was really stunned that all this information had been brought together and existed in one place. I have always been the curious type, and have, since a very early age, studied and researched a wide variety of topics and phenomena on my own. So when I found all this data sitting in one place, I was, as you might imagine, very intrigued. DOING THE STANDARD BRIDGEI did a number of Div 6 courses in Pasadena. In '86 I worked at CC on the Manor restoration project, and after completing a contract with SIPRO, got my Purif as an exchange. During the time I was on staff with SIPRO, I also did the PTS/SP course. I had some great wins on the Purif, and one of the most dramatic was the running out of some anesthesia from some dental work many years earlier. I had a great key-out at the end of the purif, and afterwards noticed that my body needed much less sleep than it had before. After completing the purif, I was routed to the reg (at CC) for my next action which was TRs & Objectives. Still being fairly new, I enquired as to what it was and the purpose. As I recall, the reg said that it puts a person in present-time, good communication and good control of their body. I replied that I already had all those attributes, and therefore I didn't need it and it was an unnecessary action for me. The reg insisted that it was my next action, and I insisted that I didn't need it as I already had the EP (End Phenomenon). A stalemate developed, and this became a stop on my Bridge progress for approx. 5 years. (Had I known then what I do now about the upper-level case, I would have understood that the Objectives were not for me personally (as I was already Clear), but instead, they would have begun addressing my OT 3 and NOTS case. ) In the intervening time, I read a lot of books, bulletins, and PLs, and listened to a lot of tapes. I set about educating myself and learning all that I could. I was particularly interested in whole-track and OT related topics as opposed to Dianetics and auditing PCs. By early 1992, I was fed-up with being stopped on the bridge, and decided that even though I didn't need the TR's & Objectives, I would just confront it and blow-through that barrier anyway. I pulled out the credit cards and made the reg at Pasadena very happy. But before I started, I made an origination to the CS about a bulletin I had read regarding individuals who had experienced a specific phenomenon, and that they should do an Int Rndn prior to doing TR's. The CS replied in the affirmative, and so I was routed onto the Int Rndn. After running that one incident from when I was about 16, I began running some really wild OT, whole-track incidents. This was the first Scientology auditing I had received, and was running incidents that (I was to find out much later) are not addressed until one gets onto the OT levels. I blew a lot of charge and had some great wins and cognitions from doing this action, and it was just afterwards that I originated that I was already Clear. That was a great experience for me and I gained many abilities as a result of doing the Int Rndn, but this was also the turning point in my Scientology experience. From that point forward, I was only run on unnecessary and enturbulating actions. Never again would any org deliver an action that I said I needed, which confused and upset me no end. I was not to discover the exact WHY of this until after I had left the church. REVERSE-AUDITING BEGINSAfter completing the Int Rndn, I routed back onto the TR's & Obj course which, I had mainted for the past five years I already had the EP of. The TR's went fine and I gained additional abilities. My confront was already pretty good before starting, but it went up a bit more as a result of doing the drilling. Once we (my twin and I) completed the TR's and actually started the Objectives processes, things took a turn for the worse (for me). Most often, the process would simply produce no change, and it was just a waste of time for me. My twin could recognize this and would end the process after a little while of no-change. But then, on orders of the CS, I would be overrun for hours sometimes a day or more, on an individual process. Then, the CS would acknowledge that I was overrun (which I had maintained all along), and I would be routed into the HGC for a "repair session". This occurred time and time again on each of the objectives processes. There was one process that produced a very slight release after about 20 seconds (which my twin caught), but again, on orders of the CS, I was overrun for many hours and then "repaired" again. This went on the entire time I was on the Objectives, even though I could spot the point of release and rehab it myself without any help from anyone or any need of a repair session (because I was already Clear). By the end, I was totally sick of Objectives and repair sessions. At one point, I was routed into the HGC again, and an HGC auditor ran Objective ARC on me while I was on the cans. Then, just as I was about to go exterior, he stopped. He then tried several times to get me to say that I HAD gone exterior, but I kept telling him that no, he stopped too soon. This was never taken up again either at Pasadena or LA Day or ASHO. (Now that I am connected up with other OTs that have left the church and are still Scientologists, I have a much better understanding of the true nature of the case, and the role that the Objectives, properly run, play. I intend in the future to go back and re-do this action with the help of a trained auditor who is also OT. Another action which seems within the church to be underrated are the Grades. As I now understand, these also, when properly run, are designed to under-cut and relieve charge from the upper-level case. ) A SLICE OF SEA ORG LIFEIn Feb of '94, I routed into the SO, and did my EPF (Estates Project Force - kind of like boot camp) at PAC Base (Pacific Area Command). The PPO (Personell Procurement Officer) of Bridge Publications had (several months earlier) seen my portfolio of drawings and artwork, and had convinced me to join staff at Bridge where I would be placed as a designer in P&M (Promo & Marketing). Ordinarily this is not done, but due to the fact that I was already a professional in the field with proven stats (my resume and portfolio), all that was required was for me to complete the EPF and Staff Status 2. My purpose in joining the SO was to contribute the most valuable thing that I could to Scientology - me. I consider a being to be the most valuable thing that can exist. The EPF was not too dissimilar from what I expected. Lots of MEST work, long hours, a lot of study time, etc. However, it was during my EPF that I began seeing some very disturbing indications that stuck my attention. The first outpoint of course, was the living conditions for regular staff. I was apalled at the "normal" and accepted living conditions for the vast majority of staff in the PAC area. Although renovations were underway in the entire PAC complex, it was what I perceived as the utter disregard for the well-being of the staff by Int Mgmt that struck me. I had been a public Scientologist for seven years at that point, and had been to many, many, public events. Public are treated very well and have nice up-stat spaces. The berthing spaces and living conditions of SO and staff members were apalling by comparison. I found it hard to reconcile how I saw public treated versus how staff were treated. I remember thinking at the time that even the military treat their people better than Scientology. At that time, I was not aware of the luxurious accomodations that Int Mgmt have at Gold. The typical berthing spaces for un-married staff (males and females had seperate areas) would be one large room with anywhere from 6 to 15 bunk beds. As there were minimal accomodations for personal belongings, clothes and personal effects were piled wherever they could be stowed out of the walkways through the rooms. Down the hallway were communal restrooms with sinks, toilet stalls and shower stalls. Most of the rooms I looked in (while trying to find berthing space I considered to be acceptable) smelled of dirty laundry and bodies, due to the fact that staff have so little personal time and usually work 12 to 15 hours (or more) per day, at least 6 days per week, sometimes 7. From what I saw and experienced, staff are worked into the ground. And these were regular, up-stat staff - not RPF'ers. Along with the extremely long hours of production and sub-standard berthing spaces, the provisions for feeding of staff were also a constant source of irritation. I remember being hungry the entire time, as there was never enough time to eat a whole meal. We would be lucky if we actually got a full 15 minutes to sit and eat. Quite often, most of my break time was spent standing in line waiting for the food to be put up on the line, or for people ahead of me to be served. I will admit that I was only there for approx. a month and a half (Feb & Mar of '94), and conditions may have improved since then, but from talking to the old-timers there, it had been like that for many, many years. While I was on the EPF, I was working down in the kitchen area in what is called "Potland" where the large pots are washed. After staff had finished their dinner, the EPF'ers would decend on the kitchen enmasse to clean the whole area. Any leftover food was unceremoniously dumped in the trash, or down the industrial garbage disposers so the trays and bowls could be washed. As I and some of my fellow EPF'ers were constantly hungry, I began consolidating the leftover food into one or two large serving trays and stashing them in the walk-in refrigerator. Then, after we had completed all duties for the day and were dismissed for a little personal time before going to sleep, I would round up my buddies and we would sneak back to the kitchen, pull out the food I had stashed, and at least get a full belly before going to sleep. When it was discovered that I was saving the leftover food so it could be eaten instead of being dumped down the disposer, I was told to stop this activity as it was off-policy. If I had been a bit more trained at the time, I would have confronted this guy and asked to see the policy that forbad it. However I was an EPF'er at the time, so I said "Yessir", accepted the order and we began going to bed hungry again. I persisted on this point of not having enough food to eat however, and eventually, an exception was made for me. I was "sold" meal tickets by the Canteen IC for "midrats" or midnight rations. This solved the problem of going to sleep hungry for me (because I still had some personal savings), but it did nothing for my third dynamic (the rest of my group). I didn't like the fact that I had to use so much intention just to have enough food to eat, and that because I persisted where others had not, an exception was being made for me. This was not fair to the rest of my group, and was another major out-point to me. I had a very disturbing experience one night while on my EPF, that really shook my reality. The PAC complex used to be a large hospital complex called the Cedars of Lebanon. There are some basement level rooms and passageways that connect ASHO and AO under the street. One night while I was on study, I was using one of the passageways as a shortcut to get to the courseroom. This particular passageway was on the west side of the complex, went north-south, and contained the large steam pipes from the boilers that were used for heating throughout the facility. As I was walking along the passageway, I began hearing someone crying out for help up ahead. As I continued walking, I arrived at a juncture where another passageway branched-off to the east under ASHO. A makeshift barrier had been errected at the entrance to this ajoining corridor with a bedframe and some large pieces of cardboard. Signs were hung on this barrier saying keep out, keep quiet, no speaking, etc. , by order of base security. The cries for help were coming from somewhere down that pitch-black corridor. There was a man being held down there somewhere, and he was crying out for someone to help him, to let him out. He would vacillate between coherence and babbling non-sequeter sentances. I stood there in silence for a few minutes listening to this man pleading for help, torn between violating the security order and being a good staff member and following orders. After several minutes, I continued on down the passageway in silence towards the courseroom. When I arrived at the courseroom, I pulled the course sup aside and told him what I had just seen and heard, and asked why a man was being held against his will down in that dark passageway. The course sup told me that this was a Type-3 watch, (PTS Type 3 - totally crazy), and that the guy was being "allowed" to de-stimulate. I didn't bother to ask HOW this had happened, or WHAT could have driven him to this point. I think it would have been much more destimulating to release him, rather than keeping him locked-up down in a dark subterranean room all alone. Had I know then what I know now, I would have found a way to release that man and get him away from the complex regardless of any personal danger to myself. This occurred around the end of Feb. of '94. After I completed the EPF and routed onto staff at Bridge, I began doing my courses for Staff Status 2. Each time I had routed onto a course (including all the courses required on the EPF), I was required to sign an invoice stating that if I ever left the SO, that I agreed to pay full-price for every course I had taken. At this time, I was already a Sponsor of the IAS ($5000. 00 donation), and as a public person, you get an IAS discount on everything - books, tapes, meters, courses and auditing. However, for some reason, the IAS discount is not valid for staff and SO members when signing these invoices. The courses I did on the EPF, I got very little out of, due to the fact that I had studied most of the material prior to entering the SO. I already had the data. However, that was irrelevant and I had to take all the courses anyway, and agree to pay full-price to boot. At some point I began getting concerned about all the invoices I had signed, and how much I had "agreed" to pay if I ever left the SO. It began looking a lot like a trap to me. The longer I was in, the more courses I was required to take, the further indebted I became to the organization. Further, my personal finances were in an ever-worsening condition due to the slave-labor wages I was receiving. It didn't take my engineering background to figure out that within several months my savings would be gone, I would be forced to sell my car as I could no longer afford to keep it, I would have sold-off all my furniture and personal belongings as I needed the money (and there was no place to store them at the complex anyway), and I would no longer have anyplace to live except in a room full of bunk-beds and stinky bodies. How could a person possibly leave at that point if they wanted to? That is NOT freedom of choice. No money, no place to live, no personal belongings except a few clothes, no transportation, and no income. And what would you put on a resume or job application in order to get a job? And on top of that, the person is now tens of thousands of dollars (or more) "in-debt" to the "church", and can receive no further services until all "debts" (called a freeloader debt, as if the person contributed nothing at all to the organization while they were on staff) have been fully paid. As far as I was concerned, that had all the earmarks of a steel trap. It was at that point that I was rather miserable, and in a serious doubt condition about being in the SO. One morning just before going into Bridge for morning muster, I was walking around outside trying to get a little space and think. I suddenly realized that I WAS in a condition of doubt, and the way to immediately handle that condition was to make a decision. So I did. I determined at that moment that I was getting out of the SO, and going back to being a public as they are treated much better than staff. I immediately felt a huge relief, blew off some charge, and came up-tone. However actually getting out was to be much more difficult than the decision. No need to go into what occurred and how much counter-intention I ran into in trying to leave. It took several weeks of continuous all-out pushing on my part, and overcoming all of the counter-intention that was being generated from many different terminals. I got out while I still had a place to live, my car, and a little savings, and immediately went back to work for my former employer doing engineering. TRYING TO MOVE ON THE BRIDGEOver the next couple of years, I paid off all debts including the freeloader debt, and by Nov of '96, I was speaking to a reg at ASHO about getting back on services. Something occurred then that seemed like an inconsequential nuisance at the time, but now in retrospect, it was actually a vital clue. My PC folders could not be located. It took several weeks of searching, and they were not in any of the places that they should have been. This was not the last time that my folders would turn up "missing". Due to the fact that I had received unnecessary actions in the past, I wanted to ensure that it would not occurr again in the future. The Sr. CS at ASHO had just returned from several months of training at Flag, so I bought an FES (folder error summary) at ASHO to get all the bugs sorted out and make sure things would go more smoothly with my next auditing. I also told the CS that I wanted to do the FPRD as my next action. The FES was completed, and then at the end of the year, LA Day was running a special promotion that I qualified for. I spoke to my FSM, the reg, and the DofP about getting what I needed, and not getting what I didn't need. At that time, I told them that the FPRD indicated to me as something I would get some good case gain from, and that THAT is what I wanted. I bought two intensives at LA Day, thinking that I would be starting right on FPRD. What happeed though, was just the opposite. BLACK SCIENTOLOGYAfter my auditor assessed a list, I began to be run on a particular rundown (not the FPRD). Soon after starting this rundown, I told my auditor that this was not the right process for me. We continued. We completed the action (after using up half of my auditing time), and I went to qual to attest to the completion of the action. The examiner put a 3 x 5 card in front of me with the EP of the action on it, and I couldn't believe it, I was stunned. I told the examiner that I already had the EP, and that this was a totally unnecessary action. After my folders went back to the CS, he acknowledged that it WAS an unnecessary action, and that the thing which the rundown was supposed to address was never "out" in the first place. So what did he do then? He had the auditor start running me on objectives again. I put a stop to this crap and requested my folders be transferred to ASHO, thinking that the CS at LA Day was the problem. Now in retrospect, I don't believe he was the real problem. He was simply following orders. I only had nine hours left out of the 25 I had purchased (16 hours wasted on unnecessary actions), and so I ended up buying another full intensive at ASHO. I wrote-up everything that happened at LA Day, and got all the data in to the CS at ASHO. This was now the end of '97. January '98 I get a call from ASHO requesting that I come down and report to ethics. They wouldn't say why or what it was about, just come to ethics. I drove down to the org and went to ethics to find out what this was about, and was questioned about my "intelligence connections". I couldn't believe it. They wanted to know about a couple of jobs I had in the past where I had to obtain a security clearance before becoming an employee. Because most of my professional experience is in the engineering and manufacturing areas, I had many years ago, worked for two different companies that were aerospace subcontractors. As a requirement of employment, all employees were required to fill out a questionaire that was submitted for a background check to the DOD. Standard part of the employment process. The last job I had of this type was in '86 when I was a new Scientologist. Since that time, I have not worked on any type of weapons or defense-related projects, as that would be, I feel, an overt on my part. Why this item was an issue now I couldn't understand, as I had always freely offered this information since entering Scientology, and had always put the data on the routing form for each org. After discussing this with the ethics officer (Peter Oram), he said that he didn't see any problem, that everthing was fine and he would submit the data. I got another call from ASHO requesting that I come back down for an interview. Now, they were wanting me to use my intensive I had purchased for a sec-check, so they could "make sure" there wasn't anything related to intelligence agencies. I couldn't believe it. It really appeared that someone was trying to stop me from progressing. After fully writing up all the details of the clearance process (filling out a questionaire and giving it to human resources) and submitting it in-person to the CO OSA PAC, AND offering to go on the cans so they could make sure I wasn't withholding anything on the item, that little flare-up was handled and I thought I would now finally be getting the FPRD. Ah, but it was not to be so. I got another call from ASHO to come down to ethics again They still wanted me to do the sec-check anyway, even though the non-existant intelligence connections thing was handled. WHY? I wanted to know. After some hemming and hawing, the excuse was given that they wanted to make sure there wasn't something else. I was so fed-up with this whole cycle, that I finally agreed and so on 06 Jun 98, I drove back down there again and proceeded to waste more of my auditing time so they could "verify" that there was nothing else there. After that session, I was really upset because ANOTHER 5 hours of my auditing time had just been wasted AGAIN on an unnecessary action. I got a call from ASHO to come down to ethics again (do I see a pattern developing here?). This time the concern was me self-auditing. After I completed the Int Rndn back in '92, I had discovered that I could easily spot things by merely putting my attention on them, and would blow the associated charge and have a cognition. This just became a new operating basis for me. A couple of times I went "fishing" for charge to see what I could find. At some point, I had spotted quite a few different things and blown off a bunch of charge, and I decided that I should write-up the data and get it into the CS. The CS said that this was self-auditing, and that I shouldn't be doing it. I agreed and said that I wouldn't go fishing for charge anymore, but that if I suddenly spotted something or became aware of something, that I was not going to shut off that perception. So now this old thing from 6 years earlier was being dragged up as a reason for the stop. I explained the situation to the MAA (Peter Oram again), that this was something that occurred in the past, was not occurring in present time, and was not an issue in PT. As I was trying to explain that I had very good perceptions, and that I could spot things when I put my attention on them, I relayed another experience to him. About a year earlier, I had woken up one morning and felt kind of sick. This was an extremely unusual occurrance as I very rarely get ill. Since I was feeling sick, I figured that I must be PTS to something, so I began searching for the SP. Turns out that some old case had gone into restim because of a present time situation. Within five minutes, I had spotted the problem and as-ised it, and within half-an-hour my body was completely back to normal. Peter jumped all over this and made me wrong for doing this saying that if I found that I was PTS, I should NOT have handled this myself, but should have driven down to the org and let THEM handle it. I was stunned by this attitude saying that I thought the purpose of Scientology was to increase a being's awareness and abilities so that he could handle his own case and situations in life. More vehement make wrongs from Peter. I finally had to agree that this would NEVER happen again in the future. Peter said he would write-up everthing and get it into the CS. When I returned the following weekend, I found the situation was even worse. Now they wanted me to do a conditions write-up and a KSW course before I could do the FPRD. As you might guess, I was pretty steamed by this point. And now in retrospect, I see that was the intended effect. I agreed to look at the ethics book and see which condition applied. The MAA (Peter Oram again) tried to tell me that I was in treason or at best liability. That was a totally wrong indication, and he was attempting to ram it down my throat and force me to accept it. I didn't. I walked out of the org. That was in June of '98. By now the reverse-auditing program was having it's intended effect, but I was unaware that such a thing could or would be done, let alone, that it was being done to me. THE END GAMEI stayed away from the org (actually all orgs) for four months. Since I was now disconnected from the source of the suppression, I began recovering and feeling much better. Finally in October of '98, I decided to go back down to the org and confront the situation. I fully wrote-up what I had been through and why I had walked out of the org, and I requested that my folders be transferred to a higher org - AOLA. Immediately, the same ASHO MAA (Peter Oram), filed some trumped up charges on me, and a Court of Ethics was held on the charges (without my being present). Before the hearing, I filed a refutation and correction of the false charges, but the kangaroo court went ahead (without me present) and found me guilty as charged despite the fact that there was no evidence to support the charges. As this was Ethics matter, the transfer of my folders to AO was blocked, and the cycle was kept at ASHO. ASHOF ETHICS ORDER
5089-1, 15 Nov 98
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